Day 5... Growing.

Day 5 is here.  I didn't write a post yesterday because I was off on an adventure in the countryside doing a show.  When I drive the roads to Caledonia, it takes almost 2 hours and I have lots of time to think and let my brain have it's way.  I have decided to make a few changes.  

Since I started this journey I have had some ups and downs.  First there was the caffeine withdrawal headaches.  On day 3 I finally had no more headaches but I was weak, achy and miserable.  Not a good combination when I have to have energy to load stuff into the van for a show.  I wasn't eating enough of what I needed and the vegetables that I had to sustain me were turning my stomach.  I literally couldn't even stand the smell of them.  The stuff I normally have such a love for was making me hate them.  

By the fourth day, when I got up at 5 am to leave for the show by 6, I was a complete and total winy little baby.  Piss and moan.  I was miserable and didn't think I would make it through the day, unloading the van, hauling heavy boxes and shutters and ladders into Jones Hall for my display pieces.  It took a lot of determination not to call and cancel and forfeit my show fee and disappoint everyone, including myself.  

So....   I cheated.  I ate eggs.  From the store.  Technically, my hens will be laying soon, so it wasn't that big of a cheat, but I broke my own rule.  But when you feel absolutely horrible and the thing that will make you feel better is so simple and available, the choice is easy to make.  I felt better in about 15 minutes.  I couldn't afford to blow this show off because that is my income.  You have to do what you have to do.  This all sounds like excuses to me,  even in my own head, but I have had a lot of time to think about it.  

Of course I was able to justify it all by the time I got to the show to set up.  The other vendors, customers and friends at the show that have been following this laughed about it with me.  Mitchelle and Gary, Elizabeth, Rita, Kitty, Caroline, Frank and Burl, ( hey you guys!  shout out!) made me think of things differently.  Elizabeth (hey girl!), who has been a good friend to me, a good shoulder and a good sounding board, was the reason I named this post "Growing".  As in growing, myself.  My talk with her made me realize, that in 5 short days, I have learned so much about myself that I never would have known, otherwise.  My disappointment in not being superwoman always makes me learn about myself and I grow as a result.  Isn't that one of the reasons life is good?   Shedding the old you to have rebirth and make yourself better.  Stronger.  Healthier.

Ruby and Pickles, licking their butts at the same time.  Priceless.

So, as I am still on this journey, eating what I grow, eating as healthy as possible, eating clean, being a responsible steward to the earth, and living as close to nature as I can, I am going to take my boundaries away and not be so extreme.  I know that the extreme situation I have made for myself is what has gotten a lot of you to follow this blog, but in the big picture, what really matters?

I gave this a lot of thought.  What really matters?  Why did I start this thing in the first place?  I think the thing that is most important in all of this is that I wanted me, and others to think about the food we eat.  To question the food industry.  To picture ourselves in complete harmony with the way nature intended us to live.  Making myself miserable and blogging about it isn't really what I intended this blog to be about.  

So I will continue to grow.  Make life simpler.  Make myself and people that I love happy.  

I will keep you posted.  Live your enchanted life today, and enjoy every minute.